Sunday February 22, 2009

I got to see Dad yesterday for the first time since Monday. He appears to be making great strides in his recovery. I cannot get over how much stronger he looks. His face is less drawn and he is showing significant improvement in the use of his left side. He is receiving, as part of his speech therapy, electronic stimulation to his throat. They hope this will help him regain function in the muscles that affect his swallowing. Dad is able to transfer with very little assistance from his bed to his wheelchair and back. He continues to be very tired. With all the activity he has during the day I'd be tired too and I haven't had a stroke.

Dad is feeling well enough to complain. He has several goals for himself ---to get out of rehab, to get out of rehab and to get out of rehab. Seriously though, Dad wants very much to get home to our Mom so they can begin to rebuild their lives. He wants to have a drink of water so badly and he wants to get his purple wrist band. (The purple wrist band means it is safe to go about the rehab center by yourself without the risk of falling). I think Dad's goals are the ones we all have for him.

This morning on the way to church I was anxious, tearful, and sad. I felt so overwhelmed. I kept thinking, what if Dad doesn't get to the point he can swallow, what if his short term memory does not improve, what if he goes home, stumbles and falls? After snapping at Joe and sitting in the parking lot of the church for a few moments crying, I walked into church. A feeling of peace began to come over me. It was the same peace my father told me about when we would talk going back and forth to college/work thirty years ago, the same peace that has kept my father the rock of the family throughout the years. Dad would always say, "Anne have you prayed?" At the time, I didn't understand, now I do. We are only alone and lost when we try to carry on by ourselves and forget God's love for us. I was reminded that you only have to look at my father and know that God's outpouring of love is shown through him.