My Time with Dad

I've just spent the last three days with my father. I had this week off for spring break and decided to go to Richmond, and just spend time with Dad. I'm very tired but had a wonderful couple of days.

Mom and I arrived on Tuesday around lunch time, and Dad was in the dining room. When he saw me come through the door, the biggest grin broke out on his face! I get misty-eyed just thinking about it. I didn't think his smile could get any bigger until I told him Mom was waiting in his room. (I don't know if he was quite as happy with me after I participated in his therapies for the next couple of days; he called me his "drill sergeant" and "slave driver," but he said it with a smile).

Dad is now eating pretty much anything he wants. For lunch the first day I was there, Dad had chicken and lasagna as well as vegetables and fruit. He even had a pork chop for dinner one evening. According to Dad, his speech therapist will sneak up on him when he least expects it to make sure he is cutting his food in small-enough pieces, is chewing thoroughly, and swallows twice. He says the food is great, and I'm sure just to be eating has got to be wonderful. Dad is now totally off insulin. His blood sugar levels have been good.

According to the speech therapist, Dad's short-term memory -- which was initially affected by the stroke -- is back to about 90%. I can't tell any difference in his cognitive processing skills from before the stroke. For instance, one day he was talking with one of the therapists about how the stock market is set up so that it will self-correct, but not if there are crooks taking everyone's money! (For those of you that don't know, Dad was an economics major.) His attention and concentration are still not where we would like them to be, but they are so much better it is incredible. Actually, Dad is "hyper-concentrating" at times, which can be a problem. When he is told to do something, he sometimes concentrates so hard he doesn't hear any further directions until the first task is done. For example, when they tell him to walk up a set of stairs he focuses so hard on what he is doing he misses further instructions on how to do it more safely and effectively.

Sometimes it is good to see for yourself how someone is doing. When I've talked to Matt or Mark in the past couple of weeks they would tell me that he walked 120 steps, or 150 steps. I had thought this was as far as he was capable of walking. What I found out this week was Dad could walk a whole lot more, but there is only so much time to get everything accomplished. So, they normally have Dad walk once around the small physical therapy gym. This gives him exercise and warms him up for his other tasks.

The therapists are concerned that Dad shuffles when he walks but, as Mom says, he practically wore the carpet out shuffling before the stroke so I don't know how much that will change. Dad does great getting from a seated position to standing with his walker. There are more steps in the process of going from his walker to a seated position, however; and while he can do this, he doesn't always do it as well as we would want. Dad has the most difficulty going from his bed to a wheelchair, as this requires a great deal of upper-body strength and a number of fairly complex moves with each hand.

In occupational therapy, Dad is working very hard on dressing himself. Watching Dad do this makes me realize how much we take for granted. Just to put on a shirt has so many steps, and takes more time and effort than you would think.

I cannot say enough about how wonderful the staff is at Sheltering Arms. They put up with my many, many, many questions and my watching over their shoulders to see everything they did. Every therapist, aide, and nurse appeared to be as happy as Dad was when he made progress. They all seem to care about him as a person, not just doing their job.

Finally, the staff is beginning to talk about discharging him, with a tentative date set for next Wednesday. Because of the amount of progress Dad has made, they are recommending he attend their day treatment outpatient program, where he will continue to receive intense therapy and, hopefully, continue to make progress. This program is at another Sheltering Arms facility about twenty miles away. Because it is a short-term program, Dad and Mom will be staying with Matt for the next few weeks, with the rest of us coming in to help out on the weekends.

Dad's room looks like a Hallmark store. Thank you all for the continued cards, letters and prayers. Dad talked several times about wanting to write everyone and thank them for everything they have done. He knows he is not yet capable of doing this much writing so we made a deal that I will help the next time I come to see him. We may only get to one or two a visit but please know Dad is thinking of all of you and you are in his prayers.